I have been quiet, haven't I? Well it seems I won the Cancer war but it left me with a few scars.
One of these is that I now have ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). Another is a
dead patch on my brain which puzzles the medical team but doesn’t give me any
bother so we are all ignoring it for now.
I have been told ME is very common after a long battle with Cancer. However
seeing all my friends recovering and getting back to relative normality has
been hard to take.
So what did I do? I was my usual bloody minded self and fought it. The more
I fought the worse it got. I tried to return to work full time and kept
failing. My writing ground to a halt. I repeatedly fell ill. I became more and more exhausted. Everything went pear shaped.
It was reality check time. I now work part time, as and when I can. I
have cut everything from my life that was not necessary or was a drain. I have
learnt to ask for help and to pace myself. Only one task a day, if that.
The good news is that it should go. The bad news is that it might be 1 year,
it might be 10.
Thankfully I am surrounded by family, friends and colleagues who are really
supportive. I have also discovered other Cancer survivors online who are going
through what I am enduring. I am not alone.
So how does all this relate to my writing?
Well the obvious thing is that when I am too tired to work I am also too
tired to write so my output has severely reduced.
Now I could have got down in the dumps about this. Instead I have just
readjusted my targets. If I manage one good script a year then it is better
than making myself ill trying to force out four rubbish ones. I have learnt to
concentrate on quality rather than quantity.
I love to write. It is the best feeling when your ideas start cascading off
each other and a script comes together. Not in the first draft but in the 4th
I will not let ME stop me writing. Don't let life stop you doing what you love either.
Oh and the flea? OK. There is no flea. But if you are really good boys and girls I will write a story about one next time